Well this IS what it's all about in the end........

I spent THE most fascinating afternoon at the Barton Farmshop in Woolsery, watching Robbie cut up my pigs. And what a bloody nice bunch of blokes (and you too Sandra) they are in there. Some of you might be a bit squeamish about the picture, but this what it all boils down to. The three pigs all weighed in at quite different weights, the gilt came in at 63kgs, the middle boar, 73kgs and my favourite (if I permitted myself a favourite), the big black one, a stonking 77kgs.

Distribution of the cut meat was erm... interesting. My folks collected a half pig, a Teacher at school another, our dear friends Lord and Lady Ansell drove up from Hampshire for one (with a car laden with beer, champagne, chocolate, flowers, haribos and cake........you naughty people) and Mike and I drove out onto Dartmoor on sunday morning (me, very much still under the affluence of incahol methinks...) to deliver the final half pig. In what Mike remarked looked like a scene out of "The League of Gentlemen", twenty or so chunks of bloody, raw meat were transferred from the boot of my car, into bin liners before being smuggled into the boot of (what for me was) a complete stranger's 4x4, in the car park of a pub shaped like Old Mother Hubbards Boot!!!!

Mike.... I feel awful! You know, we had a fridge full of cheese to finish off Dinner with, and enough eggs, bacon, sausages, home made bread etc to give you a breakfast to remember...... instead, and I don't know how it happened, someone got those damned dowsing rods out....... and then there was that trip out on to the Moor.......... I'm so sorry you missed breakfast.

The remaining pork was used for the repayment of favours and the balance is now tucked away in my freezer...... apart from that whole belly that is curing in my fridge as we speak.... soon to be the most satisfying bacon sandwich I'VE ever had anyway.

To all those of you who've helped me out I say a huge THANK YOU, to those that bought my pork, I say ENJOY and despite the sleepless nights, the (lets face it) trauma, the mud, the hard work, the straw in the back of Sal's clean car, the nightmare of ear tagging ......... I'll be back, sometime next spring and I'm already looking forward to it.

They're gone......

Blimey! What a week of mixed emotions..... First of all there was the ear tagging incident (I noticed one of them had fallen out before they went off), and then there was Monday morning......

My good friend Geoffrey (a Devon lad, bought up on a farm, former slaughterman, butcher etc etc) borrowed a trailer on my behalf, and rocked up at my place at 6.00am. I had prepared a "run" for the pigs, made from electric fencing, which ran from the field, down the garden and out onto the footpath where the trailer was to be drawn up. I also reduced the size of the field on sunday, so they had nowhere to run when I needed to round them up. (I've read tales of people chasing them round the field covered in pig muck & mud and really didn't want to do the same). Anyway, after several VERY sleepless nights (and, I'll confess, having been utterly foul to live with for a couple of days), the time came.

The stoopid buggers had somehow or other contrived to get the wrong side of the fence overnight and then couldn't find a way back, so they slept outdoors on their last night!! Boy, did THAT make me feel good. Anyway, It took a lot of coaxing to get them out of the field and I guess, about 40 minutes to eventually get them onto the trailer (apples did it in the end). It was then off to Smales in Hatherleigh. When we arrived, Geoffrey very deftly reversed into their yard. They were comfy now and took some "encouragement" to offload them. I can't even contemplate the thought they sensed what was coming, rather that they were just being stubborn.

By the time I'd been into the office to do the paperwork, they had probably been "done". Geoff said it was best I didn't watch, and frankly, I'm kind of glad I didn't. It was all over and I was overcome with a cloud of sadness.

We returned home, cleaned out the trailer, I dismantled the electric fence and stared out on my empty field. It was all so sad.


I kind of got over the sadness by tuesday and on wednesday I had to go back to pick up the carcasses. Once I saw them, and that beautiful layer of fat, any feelings of sadness turned to pride. They killed out at between 63 and 73kgs and now I can't wait to try my lovely home grown pork....

Today (thursday) I'm off to Barton Farmshop in Woolsery, where Robbie (a top geezer) is going to cut them up for me. I have buyers for four halves already, one half for me, and the remainder will be used up as "thankyou's" or sold off as individual pieces.

I have to say, it's all been a bit of an adventure, one that I have so enjoyed, one that has kept me awake more than I would have cared for, but one that I will certainly be repeating. (I'd do it again tomorrow if I had the land). So, watch this space and I'll let you know what it tastes like.....

Getting near the "business end" now...

I was never too sure how I'd feel right about now, I mean it's not as if I haven't had plenty of time to get used to the idea.....is it?

Well, now I know.

They're off on monday (1st September) 7.15 am is their allotted time, I'm taking them to a small abattoir (never sure if I spell that correctly) in Hatherleigh, my friend Geoffrey is borrowing a trailer and he's going to drive them there (and hold my hand and dish out the kleenex I have no doubt). He's a rather good butcher and has worked in slaughter houses so "knows the ropes" rather well. I tagged their ears this morning, which, I have to say, I found pretty distressing, if only for the fact I couldn't get the damn things to go in properly. Anyway, after standing out in the rain, sobbing quietly because I felt so f**king useless, I managed to get the sodding things in without causing (apparently) any undue discomfort to my pigs. I'm glad I've got that out of the way, let's just hope they don't make any attempts to rip them out!!

So Sunday, I'm meant to starve them I believe (I need to check up on that, but I think it's something to do with them having empty bowels when they are opened up on monday), and then I have to conspire to get them out of the field, down the garden, round the side of Geoff's garage and into the trailer at 6.30 on monday morning. I've already had way too many sleepless nights over this (I don't handle stress as well as I used to!!!), and now I think I'll be quite relieved when it's all over.

Here's a picture of them just after they were tagged (did I mention they destroyed my compost bin yesterday too?), acting like nothing happened.................

There's a lot to be said for this downsizing malarkey...

Today for a change, the weather is half decent and I've had the chance to get out in the garden. My veg plot is completely ragged as it's been so neglected recently. The pig's field is a muddy quagmire, so much so, I've had to move them onto a new bit of grass. My wellies were getting bogged down in the mud, it must have been horrible for the pigs! (I know, they like a bit of mud, but surely there's only so much they can take). Anyway, we're off on holiday in a couple of days so I've been frantically preparing the place for Dor & Geoff to take over pig-sitting duties, including making up 15 bags of feed, strimming all around the fence line, laying duck boards across the mud and a new bed of straw for my hefty pigs. They, of course have totally sussed me out. They know I'm going to eat them and they're doing everything in their power to turn on the charm! The little sods now roll over on their backs when you give their bellies a rub... cute or what!!! They follow me everywhere and I'm in danger of falling for their charms.

What amazes me (although a seasoned pig keeper will probably scoff) is how three pigs from the same litter can vary in size so much. One of the boars is massive compared to the others and the gilt is so much smaller. They all get fed together and none of them seems to be getting more than its' fair share of tucker. In fact, what is really amazing, is how quickly they grow, full stop. Doesn't seem five minutes ago I was hoiking them off the back of Chris Jopling's 4x4 by it's back leg. Now, I guess they must be getting on for 50-60kg each. I'm really curious to see what they look like when they're cut up, what the ratio of fat to meat is etc. As it's my first time I don't really expect perfection, but whatever happens I'm sure it'll be glorious meat. I'm planning to take them for slaughter on September 1st, of course Sal & Katie are very squeamish about this (with good reason I guess) and I know damned well I'm going to grizzle at some stage, but it was always on the cards......

Anyway, we're off to beautiful Anna Maria Island on Thursday, can't wait and I'd like to take this opportunity of thanking my "outlaws" in advance for taking on my little herd while I'm away. I'll sign off now with a few pics, one showing Saturday's harvest from the garden, home made bread and jam (a real first for me!!), peas & tomatoes are still on their way (I hope), a cute pig pic and maybe a preview of our holiday...... did I mention we're going on holiday...................? yay!

Last day of term....

End of Term today, bit of a strange day really, it's Speech Day which is always busy and my girls in the kitchen surpassed themselves this year. Mountains of fresh cream sponges, shortbreads, fruit cake (even my Mum's malt loaf recipe made it onto the menu!!!), smoked salmon sandwiches, rare roast beef sandwiches etc etc. The tables were laden and it looked great, so if I never properly get to show my appreciation for all their hard work, I've done it here and it's for all to see.
The sad bit about the end of Term is saying goodbye to some truly lovely people, many I've known since we moved here 8 years ago when they would only have been I guess about 8 or 9 years old. I've also had to say farewell to Candy & Vanessa who have worked with Irene and I on the evening shift for the last two years. These two have been just the loveliest kids and I will genuinely miss them. I wish them both true happiness in their lives beyond Shebbear College.
So that's the sentimental bit over and done with, and now, in true July time, Devon fashion, it's pissing down with rain and I've got to go out and feed those bloomin' pigs! (only 8 weeks to go y'all).

Nothing to do with pigs.......

June 14th 2008 was a great day. Me and my girls packed ourselves into the car and took ourselves off to Cardiff for the evening to see my hero, Bruce Springsteen at the Millennium Stadium. Katie was pretty unenthusiastic but humored me by wearing my 1985 "Born in the USA" tee-shirt (I was a LOT smaller in those days), and so long as I could promise her he'd play "Mary's Place" (he didn't let us down), she was prepared to sit out the three hours without complaint!!! For me the thrill of seeing Springsteen was tinged with sadness as sooner or later, I'm going to have to accept I've seen him for the last time..... and watching Clarence shuffle slowly to the centre of the stage (he IS 65 after all is said and done), knowing that Phantom Dan was no longer with us, well, it's going to happen sooner or later. However, that being said, The Big Man's sax solo in Jungleland still gives me goosebumps just thinking about it. That song is very likely my favourite and although I wouldn't admit it on the night, my eyes filled a little when we said goodbye to the Heart Stoppin', History Makin', Earth Shatterin', Pants Droppin', Legendary E Street Band. Even Katie was up at the end and despite the fact we couldn't have got tickets much further away from the stage, it was a night that will live in my memory for many, many years to come.
The picture at the top is very much The Boss's view of US! (just left of centre, up in that little white patch between the blue and the green seats!!!) I pinched this pic off the net, hope no one minds, and the other shows me and my little girl, me not looking as happy as I was and Katie whincing!!

It's been such lovely weather.....

Must have been the hottest weekend of the year so far, so, being the caring sort of bloke that I am, I planted a parasol out in the field to create a bit of shade for my rapidly growing herd. I suppose it was ambitious, and shouldn't be surprised that they didn't bother with the shade, but chose to use the post as somewhere new to rub their backs!! Well it served a purpose if nothing else. Plan B was far more successful, I put the hose into a hole they had dug for themselves and created a pond of mud! This was more like it for m'pigs! They loved it and spent much of the day wallowing in it. The bizarre thing is, it's suggested they like a wallow because it cools them off, which I can understand...... why then, do they still snuggle up to one another like there's no room anywhere else? Stoopid Pigs!

Reflections so far......

Things they don't tell you in the Pig Keeping Books......
1. While trimming the grass under your electric wire (so the fence doesn't arc to earth), try to resist the temptation of putting your scythe straight through the wire thereby releasing curious pigs.... Yes folks, it was me. Bloody idiot, I felt like a complete clot chasing round trying to keep them in while also gathering up enough slack on the wire so I could tie the two ends together while praying that the Pigs hadn't realized I'd turned the juice off!!!

There's bound to be more where that one came from.... in time.

"If there was one thing you could change?".........................

I know EXACTLY what that would be. I vividly remember my friend Chris Jopling telling me, "Mitch, when you build a pig house, make it so you can lift the top off to clean them out" Did I? Did I heck. Which is why sunday mornings are spent kneeling in pee soaked straw shovelling pig turds out into the barrow.

Well, enough of my ramblings, it's dinner time and then I'm going out into the garden with a cup of tea, lean on the fence, listen to the birds and the occasional grunt from the snorkers and just marvel at how lucky I am.